MY SALSA VERDE HAS A SECRET INGREDIENT...
It's Taco Bell Hot Sauce
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I don’t use Reddit much. But, one of my very good industry friends had mentioned people were on there talking about how they didn’t like his personality. Which I think is hilarious because it’s unfortunate that he’s extremely kind, but has been blessed with RBF. I felt so bad for him because the social media people much more prefer his wife, who is also not a very “ra-ra” personality, but is naturally more inclined to smile. She has a very Roman fresco mural, angelic face. I don’t know what it’s called when someone on the internet who doesn’t know you decides they don’t like you because you didn’t make them feel safe and comfortable in a 60 second video. Maybe some of you can help me out with that.
It got me thinking about my interactions with people online. Specifically in 2020 and 2021 during the all of the BA backlash. When hundreds of people were in my DMs and comments asking for “recipe?”(literally just one word. No please, no thank you, no hello how are you) and saying how I was responsible for ruining a man’s life, I had given them the courage and hope to be more outspoken, I was anti-black, and other things that are filed in in the crevices of my brain in different folders of trauma organized by severity. There were also those fairweather friends who I hadn’t spoken to in years who came to the sideshow to get the tea first hand by emailing me, “We love BA and we saw your name…what happened?!” The blind delusion of that really pissed me off. Unless you’ve been trained in media literacy, diplomatic politician double talk, or have a publicist (I had none of those), you’re extremely ill prepared to handle the wave of criticism that comes towards you.
Most of my responses were curt, possibly violent, and definitely desperate. I lost a lot of followers. I’m still losing a lot of subscribers. I became the villain in a lot of people’s stories. Strong boundaries were drawn to where I don’t see anyone coming on my IG feeling entitled and demanding “recipe?”
There are still so many injustices in this industry and it seems to be drastically different than it was only four years ago. Hell, the way people consume media is so different than it was four years ago. But, it wasn’t my publicist or agent (I didn’t have an agent during my book stuff) that made me reign it in. If anything, I was giving the publisher the same avoidable difficulties (LOL!) It was the big celebrity chef names I was fortunate enough to have giving me a modicum of advice when it came to my interactions and that advice was, “Zip it!”
I know this is going to sound extremely…what’s the word…snobbish? Speaking out against injustice and “complaining” on the internet about the industry was fine, if not expected, when I was an “outsider.” Now I was considered an “insider.” I had gotten what I wanted (the book deal) now it was time for me to shut up, move on and reap the benefits. You’re an industry insider trying to complain about the injustices of the industry? You know that’s not going to fly. I learned that I had unintentionally pissed off a lot of the gatekeepers of the industry when their responses came rolling in after my agent had asked for their favor. So, I didn’t even get to enjoy pissing them off because I wasn’t trying. Sad. Either way, that’s what I’m doing. Shutting up. Kind of. Y’all know I could never fully shut up.
I’ll soon be getting a tattoo with the quote, “It's very rarely a good career move to have a conscience.” — Anthony Bourdain
HOWEVER! I’m proud to say some Redditors have noticed that I’ve “reigned it in.” I really appreciate them noticing that. I promise I’m not being sarcastic. I also noticed they talk shit about Kenji López-Alt, but they write his name K*nji or Kenj*. And when a Redditor asked why they write his name like that, the response was, “Because he’s been known to come on Reddit, search his name and obliterate anyone who talks about him in the comments.”
I got a really good belly laugh from that.
