Shiny Happy People Recipe...
Is there a workshop I can take to become one?
Did you know that if you read the newsletter within the app or “view in browser” that you’ll be reading the most recent version of my newsletter? Even after I press publish I’ll make changes because I notice things are a little off, or I’ve forgotten something. Since Substack is not WYSIWYG, like MailChimp, the version in your inbox is not always the most recent version.
20$ OFF ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTIONS FOR MY NEWSLETTER
I’m offering $20 off for an annual subscription to my newsletter! But, only until the end of the year. I’m trying to find new ways to keep subscribers engaged and dropping the cost might be the most effective.
I still haven’t heard any “Yes, let’s plan some shit for an IRL gathering.” It looks like most of y’all are on the East Coast. But, it looks like the East Coasters definitely want a virtual cooking demo.
Mention in the comments below if y’all would like to do October, November or December. And then we’ll land on some dates. And then we’ll land on some recipes.
PAID subscribers get access to:
Instagram “Close Friends” List - Me and Mami’s Day Trips, Day Trip Soundtracks, Bochinche-Chisme, CaliforniaCore
Written Recipes
Videos of Recipes - I post all my videos of recipes in IG stories or in the newsletter.
The “Most comprehensive list of Northern California burgers you'll ever find, according to Mami.”
My one and only “List of places to eat in Puerto Rico” will be emailed directly to you.
Everyone’s support is so appreciated, and I hope you enjoy.
I don’t have many heteronormal cis-male followers. And now I think I know why.
I’m not a Shiny Happy Person. Although, I’d like to be one. If you’ve been here for a while, I’m sure you know this is a recurring theme.
Last weekend I sent out a newsletter asking my wonderful and beloved (I really do love y’all) subscribers on how we can engage followers, retain followers and entice new followers. Because some of you are so biased (you love me unconditionally…), very few people had any suggestions. Except this person.
"As far as constructive criticism... There were times where I felt the tone of the newsletter was a bit negative. I'm all for you being real about life, but you don't want to come off as angry, or jaded. I think that turns people off."
This same week I had been given some “advice” that I shouldn’t publicly air out my dirty ideals about the SAG-AFTRA/WAG strike (specifically directed at Hulu). It was something I couldn’t fight right now as I attempt to build a name for myself in television media and that I should leave it to the bigger voices to “fight this stuff.”
So, like, what? We just don’t get to have any public opinions as humans when we’re public personas? That sucks!
Sure, I get plenty of “constructive criticism” comments and emails from women, but they mostly seem to complain that I curse a lot. What I never seem to get from women is that I sound “angry and jaded.” That type of comment always seems to come from men. As the majority of you are women, I’m sure you have heard this comment multiple times throughout your life. Am I right?
By the way, how do y’all personally deal with these types of comments? Do you shrink yourselves after hearing these comments?
Unfortunately, all of the weekly therapy and journaling and sketching and kumbaya’ing I’ve been doing wasn’t enough to prevent me from leaping over the self-imposed electric fence and immediately going after this dude to bite him in the ass.
(sighs)
My response was to send him the link to The Sporkful podcast, which Dan Pashman lovingly titled “Illyanna Maisonet Is Always Pissed Off.”
To which he responded, “I see my comment wasn't anything new.”
To which I responded, “Your comment above was new because a lot of people already know that about me and no one is "suggesting" that I correct my attitude. Just you. I absolutely DO want to come off as being angry. I am angry. I am jaded. I'm sorry that me being angry and jaded doesn't turn you on. Might I suggest some women food writers who aren't angry and jaded so that you may be turned on?”
However, there is something to be said about those who put on the happy mask when it comes to the performance. The “shiny happy people,” of the food world definitely build a much larger and broad audience. We see them. It’s either comforting…or unsettling.
The weird thing is, I’ve tried to be that person, mostly in job interviews, and the person hiring me absolutely knows that it’s fake. They can smell the insubordination as soon as I walk into the room.
“Do you know what your face is doing right now?” “Am I smiling?” “No, you’re doing the opposite of smiling.” - Smartless Podcast Live
If I didn’t constantly receive this comment only from men, I may have actually thought these people were just looking out for me. In last week’s canto, Gustavo Arellano talked about how “Hate is a distraction. Hate always defeats you. Hate is a waste of time. Hate is obsession.” How hate can keep you from advancing in your career and in your life. And I know a lot of those men probably see my anger and jaded attitude as being hateful.
Irregardless (regardless for those who hate the word irregardless), there are whole ass men who have built a career on being “angry!” Hello, Gordon Ramsay, I’m talking to you. And one of my personal favorites, Marco Pierre White. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a trauma response, or maybe it comes with living with someone who is neurodivergent, I just don’t read people (in a social setting) with my own perceptions and take off running with whatever dialogue I’ve built for them in my own head. I do have very good intuition, again, trauma response. I personally haven’t called for the chemical castration of men and yet, still…
Why do the women get told we’re too angry and that’s turning people off? Maybe the therapy is actually working because here I am trying to see both sides of the electric fence and dissecting the irony in wanting to retain and entice new subscribers, all the while biting some of them in the ass.
I can’t believe I’m still defending myself about this shit.
Here’s a recipe!